← HUB

The Manifesto

As required by the bylaws of The Roast Court, written by a driver, in a van, at the Holiday Inn Express in Wigan, allegedly.

🔒 THE PROMISE
You're safe here.
We don't know who you are.
Neither does your boss.

We don't ask for your depot. We don't ask which company you drive for. We don't ask for your email or your real name. You get a daft random handle and that's it. If your boss spots something on here, they cannot prove it was you. That's not a feature — that's the whole platform.

WHO THIS IS FOR

UK delivery drivers. Multi-drop, A-to-B, same-day, contract, owner-driver, pharmacy, white-glove, anything in between. If you've spent more than three consecutive hours behind the wheel of a 3.5t van wondering whose idea it was to put a postcode boundary right through the middle of an industrial estate, you're home. If you've sat in a warehouse loading bay for four hours waiting for a same-day job that took eight minutes to drive, you're also home. We're not just for the multi-drop crowd — A-to-B drivers built half of the industry.

WHAT WE DO

We host the daftest games we can think of, all about the daily experience of UK courier work. You upload, you roast, you rate, you comment. Other drivers do the same to yours. Nobody wins anything. That's the point.

WHAT WE DO NOT ASK FOR

Your depot. Your company. Your email. Your phone number. Your real name. Your number plate. Your address. Your manifest. Your tachograph. Your shoe size. None of it. Don't tell us. We don't want it. It's a feature.

WHAT WE DO STORE

A random ID for your browser (so you don't have to log in twice). A daft handle we made up for you (e.g. "Wheelie Bin Whisperer"). The photos and comments you actively post. That's it. We never write down your IP next to your activity.

WHAT YOU SHOULDN'T DO

Don't post a photo where your number plate is visible — crop it out, blur it, draw a Sharpie line through it. Don't post photos of the customer's house number. Don't post photos that include a uniform with your company's logo across the back. We can't stop you, but if you do, that's on you, not us.

WHAT YOU SHOULDN'T DO TO OTHER DRIVERS

Roast the van, the drop, the depot, the sat-nav. Don't roast the driver. Don't dox anyone. Don't try to work out who's who. Don't name managers, customers, or specific drivers. Be cheeky, not cruel. The Roast Court is watching.

WHO RUNS THIS

A small team of UK courier-business people who got bored of building actually-useful things and decided to build this instead. We are not affiliated with any courier company. If we were, you wouldn't trust us, and rightly so.

WHY WE BUILT IT

Driver work is hard, often unfair, and full of moments that are objectively very funny if you don't have to live them every day. There's no real place online where drivers — anywhere — can share those moments without risking their job. We thought there should be.

THE COMMUNITY RULES

You'll be banned for: naming individuals, sharing addresses, targeted harassment, racism, sexism, ableism, anything you'd regret saying in front of your nan. You'll be warned for: being a bit boring. There is no appeals process. The Roast Court is self-appointed and immune to subpoena.

HOW WE MAKE MONEY

We don't, currently. If the site catches on, we'll eventually do silly merch (bingo cards, stickers, possibly an enamel pin shaped like a wheelie bin). We won't charge drivers. We won't run programmatic ads. We won't sell aggregated data to courier companies — that's the whole opposite of why this exists.

🏠 Back to the hub
Signed, sealed, and slightly damp,
THE ROAST COURT · est. probably last Tuesday