DELIVERYROASTER← HUB
💸 SPEND AMAZON'S MONEY

Amazon's worth £1.5 trillion. Spend it.

You're holding Amazon's money. The market cap, give or take. Try to spend it on the things couriers actually want. Greggs. Vans. A round that finishes on time. A nuclear submarine. Whatever.

REMAINING
£15.0T
£1,500,000,000,000
SPENT
£0
0 items
THE ESSENTIALS

🥐 Greggs Run

🥐
Sausage roll
£1.30
🍞
Steak bake
£1.85
🌱
Vegan sausage roll
£1.40
☕
Greggs coffee
£2.20
🥧
A proper Cornish pasty
£4.50
🥐
A Greggs for every driver, everywhere
£0.60m
Bakery diplomacy. Stops the world for the morning.
WORKING BUDGET

🦺 Driver Gear

🦺
Decent hi-vis vest
£15.00
☕
Industrial-grade thermos
£25.00
🛰️
Sat-nav that knows footpaths
£80.00
👢
Steel-toe boots that fit
£80.00
🔦
Headtorch for 4:30am starts
£20.00
⛽
Fuel card top-up (£100)
£100
🥤
Crate of energy drinks
£40.00
🔒
A smart lock for safe drops
£120
GET A VAN. GET MANY VANS.

🚐 Wheels

🚐
Used Vauxhall Combo (sketchy)
£8,000
🚐
Used Ford Transit (high miles)
£25,000
🚐
New Ford Transit (off the lot)
£35,000
🚐
Mercedes Sprinter (full spec)
£42,000
⚡
Electric LDV van
£55,000
🚛
Fleet of 10 vans
£0.35m
🚛
Fleet of 100 vans
£3.50m
🚐
Replace every courier's van, globally
£18.4bn
Pick the colour. Pick the spec. Bulk discount.
WHY STOP AT VANS

🏭 Property Empire

🥐
A Greggs franchise
£0.15m
⛽
A small petrol station
£0.75m
🏭
A regional courier depot
£2.00m
🗑️
Every wheelie bin in Manchester
£5.00m
Approximately. Don't @ us.
🏗️
A national distribution centre
£25.0m
🏝️
A small Channel Island
£30.0m
📦
Buy out DPD UK
£4.00bn
WHAT WE ACTUALLY WANT

🪧 The Driver Wishlist

⏱️
30 minutes of dispatcher patience
£1.00m
Non-renewable. One-time use.
📜
A manifest that's actually accurate
£5.00m
🛏️
Abolish the 4:30am start
£10.0m
⏰
A round that actually finishes on time
£20.0m
💸
Outlaw phantom deductions (forever)
£50.0m
💰
Every driver paid on time for a month
£150.0m
What a concept.
🏖️
Holiday pay for every courier on earth, forever
£50.0bn
Now we're talking.
📈
£0.50 rate rise per stop, every driver, a year
£12.0bn
Christmas come early.
WE STILL HAVEN'T SPENT IT

🚀 Going Big

🍗
A KFC franchise
£2.00m
⚽
A Premier League season's worth of TV rights
£4.00bn
🐦
Twitter (X) — overpay like Elon did
£35.0bn
⚽
Manchester United
£4.50bn
🛳️
An aircraft carrier
£6.00bn
Park it at Liverpool Docks. Nobody'll say a word.
🚀
A small space station
£150.0bn
🔋
All Tesla shares
£800.0bn